· Be incredibly flexible and patient. If this requires drugs, be sure to have your prescription up to date.
· If you expect everything to go wrong, you can be pleasantly surprised every once in a while.
· Have a plan B. Plan A is guaranteed to fail.
· There is no reliable airline.
· Every airport has a totally different idea of what should come out of your bag at the TSA scanner. Best of luck.
· Your gate at the airport will be changed three times before you board and possibly once afterward. Regardless, it will end up being the furthest gate from the main terminal and have no services whatsoever. All gate changes will be sent to you using the least convenient form of communication, usually at 3am.
· Your plane will likely leave late, if at all, unless you are late getting to the airport, in which case it will leave on the dot and dip its wings to you as you run down the gateway.
· If you are flying from Boston to Tampa, you may get to visit Cleveland on the way. This will make no sense to anyone on the plane, especially the pilot.
· As the aircrew just said, every day is now “one of those days”.
· On Jet Blue, you’re not supposed to drink the vodka you somehow managed to sneak through the TSA checkpoint.
· Really, driving is better right now, as long as you can avoid I-95, any part of Washington D.C., and the entire states of South Carolina, Louisiana and Mississippi.
· Be absolutely sure to have your hotel app downloaded to your phone. Check in on-line and get the mobile key. Or wait for the Shriner’s Convention to check in ahead of you.
· When making your hotel reservation, make sure your room has a microwave.
· Your hotel room will be cleaned every third day, if you’re lucky, despite paying a fortune to rent this crappy room. Toilet paper will be transparent, soap will be a poker chip and the shampoo will strip every bit of color out of your hair.
· If your hotel offers “free” breakfast, don’t expect it to be anything you’d actually eat. If you have to pay for breakfast, expect it to cost almost as much as the room.
· You need both Uber and Lyft, which, by the way, have instituted “peak load pricing”. This means that if you want to go somewhere when everyone else does, make sure there’s plenty of room left on your credit card.
· If you remember when taxis lined up to take you where you wanted to go, burn this memory now.
· Walking is excellent exercise and hitchhiking may be making a comeback.
· Should you have rented a car, expect standstill traffic most of the day even though no one goes to work anymore.
· The restaurant you just loved two years ago has a “For Lease” sign in the window.
· If you get good service in a restaurant, it is an accident.
· No, you can’t sit at one of the empty tables.
· Jimmy Dean Breakfast Burritos are great for dinner in a pinch. They pair well with a box of Sauvignon Blanc. You asked for a room with a microwave, right?
· When traveling on the highway, under no circumstances should you “dine” at a Cracker Barrel restaurant.
· ALL restaurants have staffing issues and most unfortunately, it is almost always in the kitchen. It’s best to order things that you don’t mind being over or under cooked or incorrectly prepared. Consider financing meals that include a bottle of wine and dinner.
· It looks like all these travel issues are temporary. Sadly, temporary should end around 2025.